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Good Night?

Well, not really. But I guess that ordinary is better than catastrophically bad. I'm not a masochist.



I finally broke down and cut my kanji down to two a day. You'd have to be nuts to find this interesting, but I thought I'd report it anyway ^_______^. It still feels like too much. I probably should just make a point of reading more. That always helps me reinforce what I've learned.



I've been trying to wean myself back on painting 1/6 scale dolls. I figure that if I paint a doll every two weeks, and alternate between painting new dolls and repainting old, ugly dolls eventually I'll have a nice display on my page. I finished painting a new doll yesterday. I had her parts lying around for quite a while. She's probably going to be my last white-skinned doll, unless I save some money and buy another body! I don't really like her....I don't want to repaint her, but she just isn't doing it for me. Then again, none of my dolls do it for me when I finish them ^_^!





I haven't finished her profile, but I did write up my comments on her creation. You can find it all here:



http://www.sakuratearoom.com/nadiasroom.htm

I feel kind of morose today. I've been drifting between contentment and restlessness. I've been trying not to let the news get me down, but it's always out there, so....it's not that I think I should be spared from it, but it hurts to know this kind of thing is going to be happening for a long time. I feel helpless. One of my college professors referred to me as a nihilist, but I never thought of myself that way. I can never seem to communicate how I feel about a situation because I never really know how I feel. I'm ambivalent about everything. I guess it's good to be able to see several sides of a story, but sometimes I feel like I'm just floating through life, never belonging anywhere. Do you have to take hard-and-fast stances on issues in order to belong somewhere? I'm not just talking about the war. I don't think it's that I'm too wishy-washy and apathetic--I've always had very strong emotions, but the minute I open my mouth about anything I regret it. I wish I knew the right place to direct my anger. Not the "right" place according to social standards, but for me.


I don't like to post serious entries. I figure that not too many people read my journal, but I've always wanted to be a kind of late-night radio show host that people can rely on to remain upbeat. This being said, I'm going to try to leave war talk out of my blog. As soon as I pre-wash the new fabric that came in today, I'm going to make my SDs some new clothes!