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Great Big Mouth Sore.

Um...yeah -_-. Last Friday, I was eating one of these Liberty Orchards Fruit Chocolates and I chomped down on the inside of my cheek. I thought it would be just a little thing, but I think it's infected. As if this hasn't happened a million times already! I have a small mouth, and I'm always biting the inside of it one way or another. I'm surprised it's not made entirely of scar tissue by now....::cries::


I've decided to sell the light violet glass eyes I originally bought for Anise. They're lovely, but I just realized that Maya's default eyes are almost exactly the same color! I might sell the teal green 18mm eyes, too. They don't suit Anise, and they suit Maya even less. I hope somebody can make good use of them! I need to cut down a lot of the clutter around my room.


If I've learned one thing over the past few months regarding dolls, it's that it's better for their eyes to have irises that are too small than too big. I know that a lot of people like them, but I really don't care for the 18mm Tallina's eyes in mini SDs. The 16mm ones are perfect, but the pupils on the 18mm eyes are much too small! I would have to say that the best eyes for mini SDs are Zoukei-mura 18mm. The 16mm size are nice, too, and for some reason the 16mm Tallina's eyes are closer to 18mm Volks eyes than the 18mm are. If only Zoukei-mura eyes weren't so hideously expensive!


Mom and Dad worked late again tonight. I made chicken croquettes. I can't believe how cold it's been lately, but I'm glad we can still have this kind of weather in Connecticut. Last winter was strangely warm, and the summer was murderously hot. I was afraid we were on the verge of a major climate change! Whenever we don't have a productive winter, I worry about droughts and our well running dry.


Another thing I learned about dolls this week is: do not ever attempt to photograph one after 4pm. I look back at some of the old photos on my site and am appalled. A lot of my old dolls appall me, but I guess that's better than thinking they're fantastic after over a year. I try to remain objective about my customizing ability. A lot of my earlier work creeps me out, and I know that the dolls I'm working on now are going to creep me out in a year. I'm counting on that! I tell myself that I'll be as good as a professional customizer, but not until I'm 40. Maybe even later than that. ^____^ I keep repainting my dolls because I always form a concept of them in my head that doesn't transmit itself through the brush. I'm not skilled enough to do whatever I want! I wonder if I'll ever find satisfaction in anything creative. Creative...I hate that word! People should stop trying to fit words and titles to things that they just do naturally. I'm happy that I have the time now to pursue my hobbies, but eventually I won't be able to. When I was in school, under the pretense of being a Writer, I thought I would only be happy if I had this grand career cashing in on my "talent." But now that I'm older, I've realized that even I never have a book published I won't be unhappy about my life. I guess I live from day to day, and that's not all good, but what I want from life is family, friends, security, and money to spend on my hobbies. Am I too conventional? I've always been like that, too strange for the normal crowd and too normal for the strange crowd. I don't care if I don't make my break as a writer or an artist. Are you worth more as a person if you're creative? When I was a teenager, I kept telling myself "I want to be a writer, that'll give my life worth! People will find me interesting and I'll never feel shy again!" When I think about it, I was really pretentious back then! I should have just lived my life as a normal person, smiled more and had fun in my everyday life. When I was a little kid, I had so much fun with everything; I played outside constantly, wrote stories, put on plays and did science experiments just for the heck of it. Maybe that's why I like crafts so much now? And cooking? I might have become unhappy when I was in junior high (didn't everyone?) but even though I can be gloomy from time to time I don't think it's my nature to be that way.


I hear it's going to snow again. Better not be any critters outside when I shovel! Today was my grandmother's birthday. She says she's 79, but I swear she turned 79 2 years ago.