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The Finite World of Dreams.



I took this picture of a bunch of grape hyacinth blooming in our front yard a few days ago. It's not anything remarkable but they look kind of cute standing amid the dead things. Hopefully we'll have some more unusual flowers soon; the new lemon yellow clematis we planted last year has grown back with a vengeance. We seem to have a lot of luck growing clematis and columbine in our yard. XD



I've been frustrated with myself lately because of my writing. I've finally had to tackle a major scene and for some reason it's not going down at all like I planned. It's tough when you've had story bits swarming around in your head for years and you finally have to choose the path your characters are really going to follow. You immortalize some ideas, throw out others and create new ones from scratch on the spur of the moment. It's come to the point where I say to myself, "Yeah, that scene is good, you've been planning that scene for a long time. You've come up with all the details down to the smell of the grass and the tears on someone's face as they lie down breathless and gaze at the night sky but it has no place in this narrative any more. You're wasting time. You're going to have to throw it away." And how do I know if what I'm putting on the paper now is better than the stuff I'm throwing out? I don't know but I have to hold on to some sort of logical progression. A story cannot go on forever. I feel like I'm trying to squeeze an ocean out of an eyedropper. -_-



Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is the thought that, no matter how many sprouts I need to thin in order to grow this one healthy plant, in the end I'll look at my work and see it as a world in itself. A finite world, but a real one.



On the gaming front, I've dropped everything to play Mother 3 again. It's almost the two year anniversary of its release! I know I come across as a chronic RPG hater but words cannot describe my love for Mother 2 and Mother 3. I played Mother 3 for three hours yesterday. That game can make you want to end your life but hey, it's okay to cry sometimes!